Immigration Prime Minister David Cameron promises to clamp down

Whilst I was sipping my port at White’s Gentlemen’s Club, St James Street, I could see in the adjacent leather chesterfield single seatter my old mucker from Eaton David (Cameron) nestling another Scotch in his hand trying to relax from what had obviously been a hard day at number 10. He looked like he’d been arguing with Theresa again, same old argument, “I can look meaner than you, no you cannot etc etc.” each one pulling face after face to see who can look the meanest. I didn’t see Sammy or the children running around so I could only assume he had left the kids at another pub or in the car, with a bottle of ‘pop’ and a packet of pork scratchings. Please don’t confuse this Whites with the lap-dancing club with the same name just around the corner, which I NEVER frequent, so dash those horrible chaps that spread those malicious rumors. Anyways as I was saying, dearest David was sat in the adjacent chair, slowly sipping his whiskey and giving it the occasional ‘looking cool’ swirl around the glass, and I just thought I would ask him a few questions, so I leaned over.
“Excuse me David, hope you don’t think I am being rude but…” I said casually.
“I heard you talking about immigration on the TV today, as always you looked great,” he thanked me for the compliment and I continued, “I must say, I think that’s a great idea to confiscate the earnings of those migrants, I guess we could use that money to send em back, where they come from, or we could send ‘em to Blairmore, Scotland and when the Scots get their independence we will be free of ‘em”
The long and short of this conversation was that he didn’t agree with the location but the idea in essence sounded OK.”
I told him that I ran two very successful companies, off shore, of course, one selling books and the other coffee, I pay no tax at all, I told him straight, “David I said, you drive those immigrants away and I will be under pressure to pay a ‘living wage’, I am a firm believer in supply and demand, if I have the jobs I want to pay minimum wages, supply and demand, David supply and demand, and I don’t want the workers demanding ‘living wages’  what do you think you’re playing at, call yourself a Conservative!” I shouted, as I was getting a bit hot and bothered under my starched white collar and black evening bow tie.
Alas he did agree and told me straight, I have to shout and bawl about the immigrants, we have to move the blame to the immigrants, we have to say the immigrants are getting your jobs or the voters will think we don’t care about ‘em and they would be right, but I cannot say that. “Let me tell you this is private too,” he added, “Those so called lousy immigrants are the ones who boosted our economy last year, there’s hardly any unemployed immigrants ’cause they work for less than the Brits, so yes, you’re right, they are great for the Conservative Party, Business Model, keeping wages down and paying hefty taxes. he told me to keep it quiet, and in the main I have, but I just wanted to boast about our meeting.

 

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