Today was a strange day, I don’t know if it was the moons of Pluto that were in a funny orbit or what, but my old sea faring mate Capt. Buddys Iye rang me from Italy unexpectedly, out of the blue as it were.
“John mi arty I canna get mi heed around this?”
“What’s up Capin?” I asked.
For the ease of reading I have translated from his pirate style talk into the nearest form of English that I am able.
“Well! In January 13, 2012, a ship called the Concordia capsized on Schettinocas off the coast of Italy. Do you remember it lad?” Yes, thinking back, I think I do, they lost a lot of passengers many of whom were children, is that right?” I asked.
“Yes lad, that is right, but do you know what?” “What?”, I asked.
“Well, I don’t like to make this public knowledge but Capt’in Francesco was an acquaintance of mine, we traveled the seven seas on many a voyage, and let me tell you, he is well upset….” “Upset about what?”, I ventured to ask,
“Well…he attempted what we call a ‘sail past’ near the coast, so that the passengers could wave to the poor people on the beach, and the rest is history, the Concordia hit the rocks, 4,000 people on board, it crashed, killing 32 etc etc.” “Yes we all know that, what a major tragedy, terrible! So what’s your point?”
“Well laddie, my point is this…he’s being done for man slaughter, he’s in bits about that an’ all, got terrible remorse, understandable, cause he jumped ship, well… as I see it he was acting like a true ‘Conservative’, putting himself first, nowt wrong with that lad, that is, look after number one! number one is always first and foremost, agreed?” “Well, he’s responsible for those people, therefore he should get manslaughter, JUMPING ship, what a coward?” I said, indignantly.
“But John mi arty…700 immigrants died in Mediterranean shipwreck only 28 surviving, that’s just one incident alone, and we are still counting the death toll in the Med., more and more migrants will die at this rate, why don’t they charge your Government with manslaughter for allowing that to happen? They made sure, under the cloak of policy change, that larger rescue boats would be withdrawn from that area, sending the petrol’s out in smaller ships that didn’t have any rescue capabilities, indirectly they were saying sorry mi artys we are going to leave you to starve, dehydrate or drowned to death, come on that’s it aint it!? admit it! That has to be manslaughter by neglect eh?”
“Capt’in you have really pushed me into a corner on this one I don’t know what to say?” I said.
“And what’s more, why haven’t they charged that hateful woman who wrote on twatter K.T. Hopscotch or whatever she’s called, describing migrants as ‘cockroaches’ and ‘feral humans’, why wasn’t she charged by your Government for ‘in-sighting hatred’ Lord knows it was hateful propaganda, she has a column in the Tory press, what’s goin’ on there mate? for some weird reason they see fit to employ such a demon, is that what it is to be what Theresa May bangs on about ‘to be British’, you lot you are just a race of mongrels…you used to have a sense of ‘fair play’, what happened to that? I’d say you have a sense of ‘foul play!’
“That’s rich coming from a pirate like you.” I said gingerly, afraid that he might come ashore and do me some damage. I continued…”Capt’in!” I said, “I have to cut you short here, I have left some boiled eggs on the cooker, I can smell ‘em burning, gotta get off… sorrrrry..”
“Go on ya landlubber, get off then! You useless articl’ !”
With those words I was off. I stewed for hours over what he had said, basically I wondered if I had understood him properly, I could only half understand his accent, it was almost incomprehensible, and the point he was trying to put across had me completely baffled.